Salem Bynx's Second Chance

Us.

I finally decided it was time for me to write the blog I never wanted to write.  At least not this soon.  This week has been extremely hard on me.  I feel like my best friend left me.  I can not even express how much of a bond we had/have.  I can not express the LOVE we had/have.  I knew since the first day I saw him… he was mine and I was his.  SO let me take you on a little journey that was me and Salem.

7 years ago I was in a certain kind of way.  I was down, I was out.  We had just moved not once but twice in a year, due to foreclosure and the first place we went to kicked us out.  I was a walking mess.  I was on my way towards the building my friend lived in and I tripped over something.  It was night time I didn’t see him.  He then followed me to the door.  I felt bad and went up to ask my friend for some cat food.  I ran it back out to him and pet him and loved on him.  I wanted so badly to bring him in.  I found out that he lived on the bottom floor of my friend’s building.  They had moved and just dumped him outside.  I felt awful.  When I came back a week later, there he was, following me again.  Of course I fed him.  My friend’s neighbor decided to bring him inside.  She had EIGHT cats now plus him.  I would go over and see him all the time.  (Even caught myself saying…you will be with me one day and Ill love you forever)

One day the neighbor decided she just couldn’t keep him.  “Shadow” was being attacked by her other cats and was locked up in her small bed room.  If I wanted to bring him home, I could.  I begged and cried to my mom, OH how I wanted to bring this kitty home.  She hung up on me…. then called me back and said FINE.  but he is YOUR cat.  Before I even brought him home I had renamed him, bought A TON of cat items (I never had a cat before) and my friend kept saying how spoiled he was before even living with me one day.  The neighbor told me that he hides alot and that I will never find him once we get home.

The first night he slept on my face.

And that is where he stayed.  He was always in my room.  Always trying to get on my lap, or interrupt anything I was doing that was not giving him attention.

like this…

We were two peas in a pod.  If I wasnt in my room and was in my brother’s  he would wander in looking for me.  We had to be together all the time.  I think thats what is making all of this so hard.  He has always been here.  Always in my room, always with me.  His love taught ME to love more, trust more, believe more.  I am truly a better person because this kitty was in my life.

After his surgery he taught me how to be a true fighter.  He wanted to be with ME and I wanted him to be with me as well.  He truly was such an amazing cat, friend, confidant, buddy, cuddlebug, best friend to the end.  I used to always sing a song to him before we would go to bed….

 You and me together we’ll be
Forever you’ll see
We two can be good company
You and me
Yes, together we two
Together, that’s you
Forever with me
We’ll always be good company
You and me
Yes, together we’ll be

You and me
Together we’ll be
Forever, you’ll see
We’ll always be good company
You and me
Just wait and see

I meant every single word and I still find myself humming it as I try to fall asleep.  No one or Nothing will ever compare to the love we shared.  Nothing will ever replace him.  He has made sure to fill his spot in my heart with his little kitty paw and I will love and miss him forever.  Every single day I will miss him.  I have such a long way to go in this life and it kills me he is not physically here anymore.  But I know that he is ALWAYS with me and that one day…. one day I will get to kiss him on the top of the head again.  Him and Loki are running through fields together, pausing to miss us for a little, but knowing they will see us again one day too.  Im comforted by thoughts that neither are suffering, they are together and they are both whole again.  Both of my babies went through hell.  Their lives started out like crap, but they found us and they made our lives so much better.  And we returned the favor with so much love, so much caring.  I can’t believe I lost them so close together.  But I got them so close together as well.  Maybe it was just how it was all supposed to be.

My babies

I loved them both greatly and nothing will ever change that.  EVER.  No matter what, they will always be my special little guys.

Dear Salem:  Mommy will always ALWAYS love you and miss you.  You made mommy such a better person, a stronger person.  I am going to try to be that person you loved unconditionally.  I will live your legacy by being the best I truly can be and the best loving person out there, because thats all you ever asked of me.

Mommy loves you

It is with such a heavy broken heart I write this post.  This is not how I want to write this and this is not the true blog he deserves.  When I get over the initial shock I will sit here and write a blog and fill it with pictures.  But I just want everyone to know that early this morning, Salem had a seizure due to throwing a clot and passed away.  It was quick and he was in my arms on my bed where he always wanted to be.  I am truly at a loss right now.  I am so touched by the out pour of love I found when Salem and I originally came here and the continued love during the whole process.  Please know that I will be forever grateful to every single one of you and I will continue to get into the chat room as I have made some wonderful friends there.  Once I get some things together (including myself) I will post a much better farewell to my cuddle bug Salem Bynx.

Sitting in the window

Today was not a good day for Salem.  He was in some pain today and has yet to really go number 2 since surgery which was 10 days ago.  He was very sleepy all day but I made sure to get him some pain meds in him and also gave him a little bit of pumpkin in his dinner tonight.  He was however very happy when I helped him up into the window and let him sit there for awhile.  It is one of his favorite spots to be.  Right now he is laying bundled in a onesie with his head on my lap.  He looks pretty sleepy but I had given him a bit more pain meds than normal, which I was told to do if I felt he was in some pain.  I am hoping this is just an off day and not a complete set back.  He has me worried I will say that.   I am still trying to be positive though.

dont mind my dirty face!

His face is a tad dirty due to plowing through his food bowl and its been a heck of time trying to get it clean!  I swear its like having a real child….onesies and all!!

<3 Kendi and Salem

Not really anything to report today.  Salem and Mommy spent a lot of time sleeping today!  I’ve been pretty exhausted and I guess I just slept the day away!  Salem seems to be doing pretty well today.  I got new medicine to try as he has not been letting me get his steroid in him.  So we will try this stuff to put on his ear and see how that goes.

As I type this Salem’s fiesty sister Athena is laying with me.  This is quite unusual for her.  She tends to stay with my brother pretty much 24-7.  I think after I lost Loki I was not ready to let another kitty in, but the world had other plans for me!  We are still getting to know each other.  She really is a wonderful kitty.  My little princess!

It irks me that her “family” just dropped her off here and took off but shes in a great home now.  And Im pretty sure she knows it!

<3 Kendi, Salem, AND Athena

One week ago my super hero went in for his surgery.  I am so happy to report he is doing wonderful!!!  I am so very proud of him.  This time last week I had no idea what was going to happen and Friday AM I thought I was going in to say goodbye.  We got the test results back today on the tests I asked her to run Monday.  I can’t believe this but we STILL have no idea what is going on!  And not only that, but a lump i had been concerned about for months was just fatty tissue, not cancerous!  The fluid, came back showing inflammation, but still…nothing.  So in the end… there is a possibility that there is no cancer.   So who knows now?  My vet has never been this stumped in all of her 20 yrs of practice.

Salem is so amazing.  I am so very glad I followed my heart and listened to what *I* thought.  I could have very well put him down, I could have went with everyone else and be sitting here not having my little buddy with me.  Instead, I could very well have him for a long time.

What a road we are traveling together!!!

I have never been prouder of this little guy.  He is fighting so darn hard and coming out a winner.  The vet today said if it wasn’t for the mass he’s 100%.  Hell, he was all sitting up waiting for her when she came in.  She almost cried.  Apparently she had been thinking about him all day as well.  His lungs and everything were pretty clear, just a tad bit of fluid, which we removed and sent out for testing.  I also mentioned this lump thats been on his shoulder for MONTHS.  I was constantly told to ignore it, what did I know?  Now Im like… huh.  SO I asked her about it, of course she was mad I was told to ignore it.  She also aspirated it and is going to look at it and see if maybe THIS is how we can find out whats going on with him.  If anything, atleast we will know.  Atleast we will know if there is even some kind of treatment.

He’s such a little trooper.  He honestly makes me view life differently.  If he can get up the next day and walk on three legs then hell I can get up and go do anything.   Hes my little partner in crime and we’ll get through this.

We also have quite the little fan club and we love each and everyone of you!!!!

<3 Kendi and Salem