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I felt you there.

21 02 2014



The other night when I was sleeping, I felt something jump on my bed, but miss…. then a few seconds later I felt that something jump on the bed and make it.  In my half sleep daze I chuckled, remembering how you never got on my bed the first try. (all four or all three legs) I sheepishly assumed it was just Dodger, but then realized he was sleeping on the other side of my legs, no where near where I had felt the subtle pounce.  Then I felt it.  I felt your warm fur against my cheek, I heard your purr.  And then I cried.  I cried and cried.

I reached down and patted Dodger on the head when I felt him stir with a bit of concern, but then he went back to sleep.  I just laid there wanting this moment (no matter how crazy it may seem) to last longer than I knew it would.  I wanted you to be back, alive and well.  In one piece, bright eyed and feisty.  I know that will never be.  And it hurts me every single day that I wake up.  I miss you.  I miss you so very much.  It hurts me to think that there are people out there who think I never truly cared for you.  That you meant nothing to me, but to be a “cat” in my life at one point.

You were my little guy.  You were my Valentine.  You were my confidant. People just don’t understand.

In fact.  I feel incredibly special that YOU chose ME. that YOU loved ME, unconditionally.

Love Mommy

I thought of You

12 02 2014


Salem and I used to watch Disney stuff together constantly, especially when I was surprising my family with the big trip there.  We lost power the other day and I was listening to “our” mix.  This song came on and I cried for hours after.

We met, it seems, such a short time ago
You looked at me – needing me so
Yet from your sadness
Our happiness grew
And I found out I needed you too
I remember how we used to play
I recall those rainy days
The fire’s glow
That kept us warm
And now I find – we’re both alone
Goodbye may seem forever
Farewell is like the end
But in my heart is a memory
And there you’ll always be

I love you my bynxer and no mommy will NEVER forget you.